The Never-Ending Why
by Bleike Samsara
Summary: Scenes of Ragnarok interlaced with snippets from the events leading up to it told from Lodur's (Loki) POV. This is my interpretation of it and does not 'closely follow' the mythology. Includes overlaps into other pantheon lore. Has traces of Odin/Loki, Thor/Loki and Zeus/Loki. R & R.


The plan is to present the story with a series of montage type scenes, similar in manner to the one below, following Lodur (Loki) through Ragnarok while featuring arcs (collective episodes/scenes/chapters) of the others involved, whether they be God, Goddess or otherwise told in a memory/flashback format. I may, should occasion arise, include a music accompaniment for the 'chapter', although whether this is to be heard as one is reading or to merely act as a boost for the desired emote - this purpose may vary.

Please R & R. All feedback and critique is highly appreciated. :3

* * *

Water slowly ebbs against the hardwood hull, the ship gently bobbing on the rise and fall of the waves below, as though floating on a sigh. Emerald eyes gaze over the open water, taking in the pastels that make up sea and sky, each their own shade of greying blue. From where the waves lap lazily at the hull to where the soft hues of the landscape seem to blend at the gentle curvature of the horizon, all is unnervingly still. Silent.

As I watch the horizon progressively darken, the colours blend together with such ease that seems to bleed across the sky above. Mourning fills me as I take in this sight, knowing the last opportunity to appreciate the stars has been smudged by the thick clouds to build their way overhead, increasingly replacing whatever feeling of calm to remain in the depths of my mind… I let my eyes close, head resting slightly against the hardwood.

Until this moment, the gravity of what was to come had yet to dawn.

As I sit, eyes closed and night drawing ever nearer, I fight the heavy sensation to grip my heart.

I feel him coming. I feel the unchecked fury seep across the sky just as the darkened clouds had done. I feel it burn deep within him, as it churns within me, turning my stomach, tightening around my insides. I feel the true nature of his unhinged state; feel the loss and the madness morph into hate and chaos with a frightening desire.

Yet none of this to bridge the link, a link I had hoped was shattered, none of this hurts more than feeling him let go, watching with my emotions as the dark consumes him, envelops everything I had ever needed, feared and loved. Pure wrath roils within him, seeps from him, sparking, igniting, fuelling the war-hunger, the blood-lust of those itching for battle.

As I feel her approach the deck, I force myself to stand, wobbling from the sudden vertigo more so than the rising sea. Taking a shaking breath, I look at her, emerald eyes meeting her dark ones for a moment before I let dark red hair fall before my face.

Despite my efforts, a tear trails its way down my cheek. 'This isn't a war,' I look at her once more, eyes blazing with emotion.

Remaining still, she blinks, never once breaking her gaze. Through the perpetual bob of the ship I draw in the energy to calm myself, though the sensation is more akin to dissociation.

I take the last moment I will ever have with my daughter to look at her. To take in her unparalleled intellect, insight and beauty. It dawns that in any other's perception, she would be regarding me with an element of disdain, perhaps. Though, not to me.

I feel the sorrow wrench at her heart. Sorrow for all the lives to meet their end on this night. And remorse for all those to survive it, if only to die soon after in the blood and bones of those to fall before them.

Sentiment reaches her eyes then, displaying open emotion for the first time since her rocky childhood.

'I know,' she breaths, tipping her head to let the long ebony hair fall from behind an ear.

Deep rolling thunder reverberates through the otherwise still night. My breath catches as even the very fabric of space-time seems to shudder in preparation.

'This isn't war,' I say again, this time with more conviction in my tone, although I certainly don't feel it. I meet Helja's eyes for the last time.

'This is the end.'

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Hope you enjoyed the opening - and that I made some of you, at least, has feels :3

I look forward to writing more for you all.

x Bleike


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